Real beauty comes from within a healthy body, and a happy mind. Hi lovely TBS readers, this is Eri, managing director at Tokyo Beauty Stars. I’m back to finish up part two of a two-part blog series on maintaining mental wellbeing in the midst of a season of change. Be sure to also check out part one if you haven’t already, there are some tips you do not want to miss!

Get in control of PMS

Unfortunately, women’s emotions easily give way to the influence of hormones.

I used to transform into a monster one week prior to my period, every month, twelve times a year. That condition used to be called hysteria, but nowadays, it is better known as the frustration that is PMS.

For many years, when PMS hit, my mood swings would be totally out of control. Emotional instability due to hormones can have a lot of negative effects on your life. Some people become anxious and sentimental, others aggressive. It’s only when your period is over that you begin wondering why you were sad or mad in the first place.

But there’s hope, there are remedies out there you can try to calm yourself down from the unpleasant monthly hormonal imbalance.  

After relying on medication for several years, I came across a tablet called “Prefemin”. Prefemin is not a pill but a western herbal tablet containing extract from the chaste berry, an herb. Chaste berry has been used to cure female disorders since the Roman period, and thereby has a long, tried-and-tested history. In fact, Prefemin is the first treatment for premenstrual syndrome and menstrual cycle disorders in Japan. You can buy it for about 2,000 yen at a Japanese pharmacy with an in-house pharmacist.

In the event you fail to find it at a pharmacy, it is also available online. Simply key in the search terms “chaste berry” or “herb” and “irritation” on Amazon. You’ll probably see your mood stabilize after taking it for about a month, without the side effects of most over-the-counter drugs. I know, as I have not been a monster since (from PMS at least!).

Stop peeking into other people’s lives

We’ve all been there. Started scrolling endlessly through our social media feeds and ended up feeling stressed, tired, and envious. Take a step back and stop comparing ourselves with others, especially when there is something we can actually do about it.

First things first, stop paying attention to other people’s lives because what they eat, where they go, what they buy, and who they are dating is absolutely none of your business. So what if you had her boyfriend? You may not even enjoy the same hobbies anyway. Find your own satisfaction by focusing on real life and what is in front of you. Don’t be distracted by other people.

Even though someone may look happy on the outside, know that everyone has had or is dealing with a hard time. (My life also has its ups and downs. What can I say, life is like a roller coaster, haha!)

Besides, time spent stalking friends and frenemies on SNS is much better spent enjoying the joys of online shopping. Whenever you start feeling social media anxiety, put down the phone and focus on what you have going on in your life.

“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

I used to mind what other people say to me, especially when I was employed in the beauty publishing industry, but not anymore. Now I know better than to let others control my own life.

You don’t always have to listen to what other people say. Listen to the bits you feel are constructive, but know where to draw the line, because – let’s be honest – people don’t always have your best interest in mind. After a while, it may suddenly hit you that someone may have been subconsciously trying to manipulate you all along.

For example, an interfering mother-in-law or co-workers who pretend to help but are actually looking for the latest gossip, a neighbor who constantly wastes your time, know-it-all relatives who act as if they know what’s best for you, or unexpected judgment from others… More often than not, these people are well-meaning and don’t actually intend to bring you down but the negativity could be the result of a subconscious desire to exert control. Therefore, maintaining an appropriate distance in our relationship with others is a skill in gaining better control over your life. 

To do so, stop caring about what other people say about you. Time is precious, stop living up to other people’s expectations. Find your own happiness by focusing on your own goals, in your own life, based on your own beliefs. That is the best way to embrace what the future can bring.

Connect with someone you trust

If you are still struggling with your emotions, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Pick up the phone, call up a family member, old friends, boyfriend, someone you respect or feel a connection with… and talk.

Talk to them about your emotions. They may uncover something you have been blinded from all along, or discover something positive in a seemingly negative situation. Be honest with your feelings, it will enable you to find resolution and free your mind. In time, you will learn to appreciate their existence as well as gain self-acceptance.

What matters most is to stay focused on real life by accumulating small everyday efforts and valuing yourself first.

For our more fiery of ladies, I have some simple methods for anger management too. Let me tell you all about how I managed to cool down this hot temper of mine at another time!

Have a peaceful weekend!